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Dog Walking and the Möbius Strip
The walk ends, technically speaking, once we reach the mailbox. For the past hour I’ve picked my way along a narrow ravine trail in the Oakland hills, three and a half miles through redwood, oak, and...
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Developing Dog Fluency
Are you going to drop some food, or not? When my dog Achilles looks at someone else who doesn’t know him as well as I do, I find myself translating. “Hey Neil, down here! Just saying hello,” I say to...
View ArticleGiving Thanks for Crud
It’s easy to spend Thanksgiving week being grateful for food, shelter, family, health. I am grateful for those things, after all. There were plenty of reasons to rejoice in Normalarkeyland during 2010:...
View ArticleAn Open Letter to the Lady on My Street With The Doberman
Hi! I’m your neighbor from a few blocks down the street, but I don’t think you know me by name. I’m the one who flees into my house whenever you and your large black Doberman Pinscher with the...
View ArticleLaughing Out Loud
I got an email the other day from a neighbor who said – and I’ll paraphrase – “I was driving down the street and saw the snarly doberman yanking his owner’s chain…when I turned to see what had him so...
View ArticlePerfect Dog Training
A few weeks ago my husband and kids were at the local farmer’s market enjoying their healthy lunch (“there were bananas on my Nutella crepe, Mom!”) when they ran into a neighbor with his new puppy....
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Neither Cat Nor Dog
There’s a theory that everyone in the world is either a dog person or a cat person. Having owned one of each in my adulthood, I can say with confidence that I am neither. As a child I was sure that I...
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A Free and Easy Last Minute Gift
I have what should be excellent news for my husband, who starts Christmas shopping at approximately 2:19 pm every December 24. What I want for Christmas this year is free. All I want is ample time on...
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I’ll Take One Dog Cone, Size Large
My dog is under the impression that he is both paralyzed and in big trouble. All it took was a cone. In the past I have openly mocked dogs wearing the big Cone of Shame as my prancing, handsome dog...
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Canine Agents of Embarrassment
It’s time to call out the most embarrassing member of my household. That would be my seven year old German Shorthaired Pointer, Achilles. He pairs an unerring sense for the exact WRONG thing to do in...
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How to Maximize the Drama Inherent in a Wild Turkey Encounter
1.) Sleep only five hours the night prior, to ensure that your reaction times will be slow as maple sap in January. 2.) Own a bird dog, albeit one whose hunting instincts have always been confined to...
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Seven Things My Pet Thought In the Past 24 Hours
1. The bed just creaked! Is this the middle of the night trip the lady does to the bathroom, or is it THE CREAK OF CREAKS THAT THEY ARE GETTING UP TO LET ME OUT AND FEED ME OH JOY OH JOY I THINK IT...
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Developing Dog Fluency
Are you going to drop some food, or not? When my dog Achilles looks at someone else who doesn’t know him as well as I do, I find myself translating. “Hey Neil, down here! Just saying hello,” I say to...
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Just One Perspective on Garage Sales
I know there’s a theory that holding a garage sale is a good, clean way to get rid of unwanted junk and make a little money in the process. That’s just never been my experience. Today I’ve been...
View ArticleThe Old Gray Mare
My brother’s wife once told me a story that I misunderstood completely. She and my brother had been in New York City for the weekend, she called to say, walking all over to shop and sightsee, when she...
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Slo-Bowl for Sadness
My dog is pissed at me and quite frankly, I don’t blame him. The girls and I went to the pet food store to buy him a new bed for Christmas. The one he uses has a detachable pad, and every time he wants...
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Don’t Impinge On Me
I can only dream of giving myself a half-hug like this again someday. Remember when your injuries came with good back stories? In my own storytelling archives, I have “My knee is ripped open because my...
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Au Revoir, Remodel
It appears that, against all odds, our bathroom remodel is actually going to draw to a close this week after six weeks, make that seven, oops more like eight, the glass door for the shower was...
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Our New Normal
When our dog had a seizure at the foot of our bed in the wee hours of last Tuesday morning, our first reaction was to yell at him. Normally Achilles starts the evening sleeping on our younger...
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What’s Helping Right Now
I have been home from my dad’s funeral for almost a week and am still a little numb. It feels like I am wrapped up in cotton padding, going through all the regular motions but having to put a little...
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